I was packed up and in the car ready to drive the long 16+ hours home to Michigan. I had made my way to Louisiana Camp a few weeks ago to sell my book. I really had no intentions to go to Louisiana but felt led from the Lord that this was what he wanted from me. I then stayed over in Texas and was planning on going to Mississippi camp as well to sell my books. But that didn't really work out for my budget so I had just decided to go home after a week, well that was the plan anyways.
I had argued or conversed as I usually do with the Lord before I left for LA camp, "Are you sure this is what you want Lord?" Needless to say I was conflicted. I didn't really have the money to come this time. The more I prayed about the invitation to sell my book, the more God was telling me to "GO".
I sold everything I could get my hands on! I had multiple yard sales! I sold things on Craigslist! I sold things on Ebay! I sold my antique bed to an antique dealer (and I hauled the metal frame there myself, ouch!) I even sold my entire DVD collection!!!! Then I returned some unopened DVDs and got $42.47!!!! I was in awe I had the money to go and so I went.
It has been the hardest thing I have ever done to walk into the doors of my promise and feel like it would never happen. :( I was broken. I will honestly say that if I could walk in that church with feeling like the biggest jerk in the world then sweeties let me tell you, "there is no where I won't go for God!"
I had been praying about moving to Longview, TX since last year. I was going to move in October 2012, then January 2013 and then and then... The door just wouldn't open and God kept saying, "Wait."
And so I waited and waited...
When I arrived in Texas it was only to be for a week tops! Every time I wanted to go home God kept telling me to stay... I was driving the loop 281 and I was crying and said, "God if this is really you then you will have to lead me to someone who will lead me to someone because I just can't do it anymore :("
And then I met Dale...
We met at Starbucks and he told me he knew the Mayor and told me to contact him and give the Mayor his name... I think I went to the Mayor's office 4x and was supposed to meet with him several times and it just kept falling through. And I had contacted a State Representative and had faxed them my resume and touched base with them. I had knocked on every door that I could knock on but it wasn't what God had told me. He said to me a few months ago, "The job will come to you and when it happens you will know that is God without a shadow of a doubt." Well to be honest I didn't know what to do with that? So I applied over and over again for jobs more than a 150 jobs...
It is like I had a bite but it was not catching the hook...
And so I was ready to go home!
I had been ready to go home when an evangelist preached the greatest prayer you will ever pray, "Not my will but thy will be done!" And I asked God, "What do you want me to do?" I want to go home but what did the Master of it all want? He told me to wait... I accepted and I waited but I was kicking and screaming...It was about me being obedient to the voice of God. If you don't know His voice, sadly I can't really explain it all to you...
I went to a youth rally this past weekend in Tyler, TX and it was an amazing message about being "prepared and positioned." See God had been preparing me this past year for ministry in prayer, fasting, the word, and following the Gospel commands. It has been a long and lonely journey. I have wanted to give up many times. I have had literally every one in my life turn their backs on me. People I thought who loved me and believed in me. It is true though the closer you get to the Lord the more He weeds out those who would hinder you in your life. I am not saying that those people are not amazing because they truly are but it goes back to a blog I had written awhile back about how God will remove the hindrances of people out of your life even if they are amazing people, it just means they are your hindrance.
The best part of the rally...
On my way home God restored my joy. I laughed and laughed at the devil and declared that he was liar and the father of all lies!!! I rebuked him off of my life and those that I love and said, "You almost got me devil!" And had the greatest breakthrough in months...
It was then that I knew that I knew...
God this might just be my time to be knocking on doors. You have the best for me. If you want me to go home then so be it but I will not stop knocking and pursuing my promise of souls in Longview. It is where He has called me, it has broken me and stomped me and created me over and over again. Who am I? I will tell you I am a child of the King and His word cannot return void. It is only me who can step away from my promises and not do what He is telling me to do. People often wonder why their promises are unanswered. The answer is that they have not pursued them and listened to the voice of God. When you say No, when God says Yes, you might be used but you are really standing in a holding location. You will NEVER fulfill your purpose. You will be sad, lonely, broken, alone, hurting, bitter and then wonder...What's wrong?
The answer is that you are running from what God is telling you! See I know because I am an expert I have run from God my whole life...
Here were my excuses!
"God I am not good enough. Your'e not really talking to me. If I keep my mind busy He won't be able to speak to me. If I keep doing busy work, well then I am doing His work, so I am OK. When He does speak to me then I can explain it away and justify my actions by saying,Welp I just can't do it so I won't step out in faith."
God had to teach me that the pain of doing what He was telling me was better than living in utter despair and never moving forward. Why are you running? The only thing that will happen is that you will be loved. You will be helped. You WILL do everything God has called you to do! See when we are weak just like Moses, He sent Him Aaron to hold up Moses' arms... God will send you an Aaron. He will not leave you in the miry clay sinking... Or will He? You choose?
Yesterday, I was in the car packed up and ready to go home.
I wasn't giving up this time. I was just honoring the man of God in my life. I knew in my heart that this trip could have just been about opening doors and I was at peace with that idea. Isaiah had to do what God told him to do 3x before God had made a way and this was only my second time stepping in faith. God is in the impossible working business! I had packed up the car. I was making one last trip to the Mayor's office, the State Rep and to a Temporary agency.
I already had the call on my phone before I even woke up...
I just didn't know it! God had made a way for me to be a case manager for a local homeless organization in the Longview area. I got the call on my voicemail but I didn't listen to it until I was on the road to make my last stops.
I WAS HIRED OVER THE PHONE! I NEVER APPLIED FOR THE JOB! THEY NEVER SAW MY RESUME! and yet God has shown me favor!
I had volunteered at this organization last week because I wanted to get my feet wet in volunteering in the area. The coordinator did not have a job for me last week. Then on Sunday night the previous case manager resigned for a new job!!! And I was called at 8am the next morning....
Just like God had said, "The job will come to you and you will know that it is me without a shadow of a doubt!"
Anyone who knows me at all knows that this is my dream job! I am ministering in a Christian organization that is helping homeless families in Texas. I am working right there doing the work that God has put in my heart for over a year. And He made a way at literally the last minute. He saw my heart and made a way when there was NO way!
My heart is the homeless on the streets, street evangelism, tent revivals, outreach, community activism, community center and etc etc etc... Not to mention the rest of Matthew 25 that will be on my agenda in the near future! BE A Spark! Change A Life For The Kingdom And Then He Will Lead You To The Next Life!
So God made a way for me to have a place to live! With the best Nanny in the whole world! He gave me a job in outreach, and He opened a door for me to volunteer at the local homeless shelters.
Today after work I went to the host church and spent the evening pouring my life into those families that I am now called to! It is my heart. It is my mission. I will go wherever He leads me!
Jeff and Janice (J & J) Ministry Team at Host Church
What an amazing first day at my ministry job!
My office!
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