Stepping Beyond the Glass

 Ann Arbor, 

MicHIGAN 

Delonis 

Homeless 

Shelter

Today I stood on the other side of the glass on this December cold, wet and snowy day in Michigan. The glass really had a symbolic feature acting as a barrier from the world. The world had beaten these friends down. They have no where to go, no recourse and no where to go. To coin a phrase: They are throw away people. The glass room had many small groups of people that held maybe a 100 outdoor friends. They were there inside to receive a small respite from the cold: heads down on tables, tears in their eyes, and genuine sorrow everywhere I looked.

 It was the eyes that made me most sad because there was no seemed hope. I stood at the door with my small token and felt this overwhelming desire to help every one of them. Only a few friends came to the doorway of the shelter because they didn't want to lose their place in the shelter. I stood at the door trying to offer a shred of hope. See the hope I had to offer them was not in a sausage biscuit, a scarf, or some gloves; but the hope I have to offer is the truth of salvation in Jesus Christ.  

Today, we prayed with Keith. He asked for prayer for God to bless him. He stood there in the doorway desperate for a touch from the Lord as tears ran down his face. Bro. Mitchell and I laid hands on him and asked that God come right beside him. The power of the Holy Ghost came down in that small little doorway in such a mighty way. Others looked on with doubt and most looked the other way to hide their pain. But we came to offer hope and today I was a humble servant reaching for those lost sheep.

I cried all the way to church this morning. I could not escape the anguish and pain I saw in those hopeless and homeless eyes. The hopeless are around every corner if you actually stop and look in their eyes. They are searching for the truth! The only truth that there is; “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved,” Acts 4:12. How will they hear the truth unless we tell them? How can we reach them unless we go? What is the salvation plan?

Peter knew who Jesus was and because he knew who he was Jesus rewarded him with favor:

"When Jesus came into the coasts of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am? And they said, Some say that thou art John the Baptist: some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets. He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am? And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God. And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Barjona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven. And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." Matthew 16:13-19

It was here that Peter was given the authority from Jesus Christ. This is an important element to understanding why Peter had the authority to tell the church how they must be saved. He had authority because it had been to him ordained from the Lord.

People asked how they might also be saved after the initial outpouring of the Holy Ghost with evidence of speaking in tongues; ^“And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance” Acts 2:4. The emphasis is on all and the Holy Ghost evidence in tongues.

So now we know that Peter had the authority and we know what the Holy Ghost is evidence of…

Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly, that God hath made the same Jesus, whom ye have crucified, both Lord and Christ.

Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do?

Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call. Acts 2:36-39

We the church has lost sight of what we are supposed to be doing. We have allowed the state to take over where we are supposed to be servants to the needy. There is no love and compassion from the state. There is no hope for change because the state can only offer basic needs. But we the church have the ability to meet their physical and spiritual needs. We are to go to the least of these because when we do we are indeed doing it as if it were Jesus.

"And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in.  Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?  Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal." Matthew 25:33-46

Will you help me reach them? Will you go beyond the glass wall and be willing to step out in faith? Will you meet their physical needs and spiritual needs? We are the church this is our great commission. We are to feed the sheep! We are to go to the highways and byways reaching the lost and desperate. Will you step out beyond the glass?

If you are in the Detroit Metro Area I am collecting: 

Scarves

Gloves

Hats

Sweaters

Coats

Blankets 

Boots

Please contact me on Facebook or Maesong@gmail.com and I will come and pick up your gently used items. If you would like to donate for food please contact me as well! God Bless you! Let's make a difference together, In Jesus Name!!!

I Am Preparing Your Heart

          I am preparing your heart…<3

    Come walk with me awhile,

     If I fall catch me by the hand,

       When I’m standing I will smile,

      Knowing you’re there if I land.

 I think the hardest thing in life is hearing the plan for your life. You struggle with it, you pray about it, and you fast about it. Then you let it roll over and over in your mind thinking that there can be no way that you can ever do the things that God has called you to do. Then finally you accept the word from the Lord. He has shown you over and over in prayer, maybe dreams or even visions. He has confirmed it with others in the plan. You even hear the preached word so you finally throw yourself on the altar saying:  “Yes, Lord I accept the challenge.”

Now you expect the road to be hard and yes your human and are waiting for the other shoe to drop. Those in your life, who are supposed to be your support, then turn their backs on you. Your world crashes down all around! You ask yourself often; did I make up this dream? I mean you didn't really expect the dream. You didn't ask for the dream. But you know God put it in your heart! How else would you ever have such an impossible idea? Who would change their life so drastically if they didn't hear the Lord tell them to go? I am reminded of the scripture:

And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first. Matthew  9:29-30

 Now every day you are faced by every opposition and fear and doubt come in like a flood. Then you are reminded of the promises of the Lord. “IF” you will do what I am asking THEN He will make a way. See he truly is the way maker! He is the author and finisher of our faith. He knows the end from the beginning. He gave us a promise to those he called to his purpose. And his word will not return void for God cannot lie!

  

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:28-31

If he has called you to a plan then He will fulfill his will in you. What do you do in the meantime? He is holding you in the palm of his hand. He my friend is preparing your heart. He is making a way when there seems no way. He is asking you to wait on him and trust in His ways.

He is preparing your heart through:                                                          

1)  You seeking Him first in all things

2)  Prayer and Fasting

3)  Faithfulness to His word

4)  Trusting in Him

5)  Refusing to allow adversity to overtake your fight

6)  Faithful in the small things and He will reward you in the big things!

You may have thought your promise was right in front of you but maybe just maybe He is testing you in adversity to see if you truly seek Him first. If God told you a plan or made you a promise it will come to pass. Do not fear the unknown but allow the unknown to be a time where you grow your faith.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen… Hebrews 11:1

 

If you want to hear the voice of God and I mean truly hear his voice, let me teach you how:

1)  A true repentance, throwing all your fears and doubts on the altar and turning from this world.

2)  Ask the Lord to sanctify and cleanse your heart every corner, that there be nothing hidden from Him.

3)  Thank the Lord for being in your life; thank Him for every adversity and every blessing.

4)  Pray in the spirit; speaking in tongues allowing God to speak through you. This will take practice but when you want to quit, that is when you keep pressing on until you feel the Lord release you.

5)  Ask the Lord for what you need ask Him in this special place for everything He has promised you.

6)  Stop and be still and listen for the voice of God. It may take a little bit BUT He hasn't ever returned void when praying this way.

7)  It’s important to praise him at the end of your prayer. And to thank Him once again… Ask the Lord to keep his Angels round about you because when you pray like this the devil is not happy because you have entered into the throne room of grace!

Know this my friends that God is preparing your heart and He is preparing the hearts of those who will impact your life. Do not give up hope and do not stop fighting the fight. Because just when you think you can’t go on anymore your miracle is just on the other side of the stone wall. He truly is preparing your heart!

YOU NEVER KNOW HOW CLOSE YOU ARE SO NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!

The Misplaced Invitation

It was an uneventful day like any other. I went to work at the same time I came home at the same time. I ate the same food I normally ate. The bills were the same and the cares of this life were the same as ever before. The people in my life were the same never looking past the faces that were familiar in my life. It was just my life lonely, depressed, uneventful and empty. Most nights I cried myself to sleep because I was broken in my life of mediocrity.

There came a decree in all the land the king sent out a 'Royal Invitation' for his son's wedding. The king was so hopeful because he wanted to share his joy with all the land. He sent out invitations to all the most respected people of the land. All of his employees and co workers everyone he ever knew. What a joy to share his blessings with all he loved. The king was so disappointed and then he was mad. No one responded to his invitation. Everyone ignored his request; everyone was too busy with their lives to be bothered with the son of the king's wedding. So the king sent out a decree and he banished all the people he knew and turned his back on them. He sent his servant to the highways and the byways with a decree- “Please bring me the least in the land because those who say they know me do not want me in their lives. So now I will share my blessings with those who do not even know my name."

So this where my story begins...

I made my way down the street as I usually did at the same time I always do. I passed the same beggar on the street that I always did, but today was somehow different. I saw a servant of the king gathering up the homeless and broken people who were on the streets. I looked up and saw the King's golden chariot where the servant had gathered the many other broken people. Their clothes were tattered, they were hungry, they had tears in their eyes, and they had lost their hope. I began to weep as I thought of how much I had been blessed with but then realized I too felt so empty and lost.

~REACHING THE HOMELESS~

I was intrigued, what did this servant want with these people and where was he taking them? I began to follow him. At every turn I saw him reaching in the darkest alleys. He went places I never even knew existed and reached for people that I chose to ignore. He reached for them giving them food and drink. Something in my heart was touched. I heard the servant say, “Here is something to eat now but the King has sent me to invite you to his son’s wedding. When you eat with the King he will give you food that will forever change your life.” The servant reached out with such compassion and love as he helped so many lost out of the darkness.

I knew that I too wanted to feel that compassion and love in my own life. I followed for many miles; I fell a few times, broke a shoe and landed in the mud. Yet still I followed. I fell one last time before the servant turned to me. He picked me up out of the mud and said," why are you following me?" I was taken aback because I didn't know he had seen me following him. I said, "I'm following because you are a servant of the King and I was surprised to see you helping these broken people. I see the compassion in your eyes. It made me realize that I too want to share in that love and that there is something missing in my life."  He said to me, "but you got an invitation from the King he made sure you were invited to the wedding."

I stopped in my tracks and I cried in dismay. I said, "I have been so wrapped up in my own life that I misplaced the invitation." I was so busy with my life I that I didn't know what I was missing. “What can I do to help oh servant of the King?” The servant said to me: “The King and master say that you must feed his sheep. You must love the lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul and to love your neighbor as yourself.” Then the servant said unto me, “Will you follow me and partner with me to help reach the lost, the broken, the homeless and the needy?” 

FEED MY PEOPLE

FEED MY SHEEP

We made our way back to the King’s palace. As we entered into the throne room and I fell down on the ground before the King and Master tears streaming down my face. I was broken, dirty, and my clothes were tattered from stumbling in the darkness. The King looked at me in surprise. “Did I not send you an invitation to eat at my table; that you rejected? Did I not offer you a seat in the palace for my son’s wedding and yet you did not come?” “Did I not offer you all the blessings of my kingdom and yet you still turned your back on me?

KNEELING AT THE MASTER’S FEET

As I laid face down on the ground as I looked up into his eyes my voice trembled as I spoke; “Master I have failed you! I have turned my back on those in need around me. I have no right to ask your forgiveness. Yet here I am broken before you my King. Will you let me be servant oh Master of mine? No longer do I want to turn a blind eye to those in need. Please oh King and Savior Jesus will you  forgive me? To my great surprise he wrapped his arms around my dirty person. He told his servant to give me a clean robe along with the others. He spoke to my soul, “You are my beloved daughter turn away from this world and follow me.” Reach to the homeless, don’t forget the broken, share my love with all you meet, give all you have and follow me. Your life is no longer your own.”

Forever my life was changed the day the King forgave me for my sin. He redeemed me from a life I stumbled in the darkness. He forgave me when I had turned my back on him. See I had known about him all along but I was so concerned with life that I misplaced my invitation to the wedding. I can’t go back to who I was that life for me is gone. I can no longer turn a blind eye to those who are lost and hurting. I must be reaching in the highways and the byways because there are more who need to find the redemption of the King. Now you see my friends that I too am a servant of the most high King! My life is not my own it has been bought with a price. I have been redeemed by his amazing love. Will you too become of servant of the King the Master and Savior our Lord Jesus Christ? If you misplaced your invitation you can still come to the Master. He came and died because of his amazing love so that you and I might have life more abundantly! 

 (This story was adapted from the parable of the King who invited wedding guests for his son's wedding. The servant went out to look in the highways and byways for those who would accept the invitation of the King. This story just plays a twist on a girl who saw the servant and realized she wanted a change. It is allegorical and has aspects of how I feel the Lord has redeemed me when I misplaced my own invitation)

My Personal Masquerade Ball

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. 

2 Corinthians 3:18

This has been the most difficult part of my journey this year. This year has been about peeling back the onion layers in my life. It has been about recognizing that Lord must be at the center of my life. I cannot hide from myself and infect change if I am hidden. Before this year it had been so much easier for me to hide from the world and all who knew me. I know many of us like me struggle with being our true selves. How many times have we put on a happy face or covered pain in laughter, or even became sarcastic to cover how we truly feel? Emotions are not easy to deal with and the more you have been hurt the easier it is to hide in a facade  I have worn a mask for years at my personal masquerade ball!

My greatest fear has been what if they truly know who I am? I am not perfect of that I am sure! But the more I hid from my fears, faults, and weaknesses the more I felt alone. Surely no one could understand what I was going through and surely I was never going to be good enough. So why did I need to try? It was so much easier to have my walls up to the hilt. For then I would no longer be able to be hurt. So very true my friend but then I would also never be able to love and be loved as well. Then the Lord stepped in….

I began to change from the very core of my being. I was only able to change because I wanted to change. I began to see that wearing my mask was a misrepresentation of who I truly was meant to become. My life had become one big lie. People saw a confident girl who was perky and funny. Sarcasm became a way of life and being funny was my mask. I mean it was much funnier to laugh at how dumb I was or how fat I was than to accept myself for who I was and that I could be loved just for who I am. We can change how we look on the outside, but we can’t change who are deep down inside. 

How do we change?

1) We must recognize we are hiding from who we are as a person.

2) We must turn our lives completely over to the Lord.

3) We must ask others in our lives to help us and to pray for us.

4) We must be willing to take off the mask even if it hurts

5) We must change our outlook and accept who we are and ask the Lord to change us from the inside out!

6) We need to realize that God loves us just the way we are right now, and His love for us will never diminish.

The thing I learned most this year as I took off my mask is that underneath my facade it was not pretty. There is pain and growth that comes from allowing the Lord to truly step into your life. It has hurt more than anything else in my life! But I am also happier than I have ever been in my life. Someone said recently, “Why are you running from God’s plan? He will only love you if he catches you!” It rings true with God and people. The Lord knows who you need in your life and he will put the most unusual people to replace the ones who would hurt you.

 As I tore down walls this year I was open to love and pain. People turned their back on me and crushed me this year. But I’m still standing! Adversity has taught me to love more, to understand more, and to have a deeper compassion for those around me. It has taught me to lean on the Father who will never leave or forsake me. It has taught me that when I feel that the world is caving in and I would rather put back on the mask that I can’t do that again if I expect to change the lives of those around me.

People need people to be real! They need to know you can understand them. There are so many hurting people who need to hear the truth. They need to hear how their lives can be changed. How can they hear the truth if we are so wrapped up in our own lives and are not real? Our lives then become a distraction that keeps us from being aware of the needs of those around us. When you wear a mask you are too afraid or too ineffective to reach people. Your mask hinders your testimony and keeps people at a safe distance. I want to pick up my mask again but if I do who will I impact?

I think I failed several people this year. I temporarily put back on my facade because it was too hard to let some know who I truly am. Then because I did this I felt a failure not truly allowing some to know my life. Seeming too perfect is also a mask. It is by the grace of God he has brought me this far and I’m not going back to who I was but at the same time I am so not perfect. One of my truest faults is that I try too hard and I am also very hard on myself. I try so hard to be everything to someone and I try to mold myself to whom I think they want me to be, so that I don’t disappoint. I tend to allow myself to follow someone to a fault and allow myself to emulate them.

As I was praying today the Lord reminded me again that Jesus was who I was to emulate and not man. He was to be my great provider and not myself and no I can’t fix what is not mine to fix. I cannot depend on mankind to fulfill any need or desire but that my hope must be fixed on the Lord. I was reminded that I am a child of the King who does not need to hide myself and who I am behind a mask. I implore you to trust the Lord enough to allow him to take off your mask. You will find that as you take off the mask, that you will be changed. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2 Corinthians 3:18. This means that; God is changing us and making us more like him and he is fixing the flaws we want to cover up. It will happen little by little but the reward will be great as you are changed into the image of the Lord.

That is the ultimate goal! To be changed inside out. We must take the mask off at our masquerade ball. We change by taking down our walls but not replacing them with seemed perfection. We must be willing to let others help us in our journey because there is no way that we can do this all alone. We must allow our lives to be changed into the image of the Lord. When we are changed then we can grow and become who the Lord is wanting us to become. We will no longer be in a holding spot with no where to go. Will it hurt? Yes it will hurt. Will people turn their back on you? Yes people will turn their back on you. Is it worth it? Yes it is worth it! By taking off the mask you have the ultimate tool against the devil. You are no longer afraid of who you are and who you will become. Your life will be a true testimony to the Lord as you will be able to share it with others you are trying to reach!

My prayer: Lord help me not to put on my own personal masquerade ball. Help me to help others by sharing the real me. Help me not to build walls around my heart. Help me to not expect to find acceptance in anyone but you Lord. But also help me to let others truly into my life. My life may come with adversity and those in my life may hurt me but I know my acceptance is in you Lord. Let the more I seek you in your love, which you will continue to change me into your very image. I am not who I am without you Lord and may you always be leading me into your ways. That I never lose sight of the great purpose and that is to share my life with others so that others might be saved!

It's Hard to Give Your Dream Back to God!

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen...Hebrews 11:1 

As I sit here in the living room drinking my coffee this morning I am reflecting on the blessings of the Lord. This week has been a week where I have been thanking God for the adversity in my life. There is a lesson to be learned in every trial, every pain, and every misunderstanding. I don't see this adversity as being done to me or that I am being mistreated or unloved, I see it as a shaping of my life unto the Lord. Today, I think to myself "Lord I truly am your broken vessel". See I am bought with a price and he has shown me a glimpse of my future. He has shown me pieces of what he wants for my life. The hard part is giving that dream back to the Lord. 

The year of 2012 truly has been one of genuine devotion to the Lord. I began the year frightful, afraid, broken and forlorn with literally no direction in my life. Then amazingly God moved every obstacle out of my way. I did think it might be the end of the world and I was right it was the end of the world as I knew it. No longer could I rely on my ideals and the ideas I had of God in my own box. See the possibilities with God are endless and he wants to use us to the fullest but I like so many others have put him in a box. 

The Lord radically changed my very being this year. It's hard to explain if you've never reached that place of brokenness. Its a point where you pour your very soul on the altar and truly surrender and say, "Yes, Lord here I am." I may not understand much from this year but I know that I have heard the voice of God. He will speak to you too but you have to give him all.

 That reminds me of an old favorite song of mine, "I will give you all. I will give you all. If all is what you ask of me...I will not withhold. And if my sacrifice is less...than giving you my very best...let me remember Calvary's cross...and be willing to say yes!"

Sis. Vesta Mangun Pentecostals of Alexandria 

Top 10 things this year! 

1) I came back to the Lord he welcomed me in and began to restore me 

2) He moved me out of my job (he had told me to leave for a long time, I didn't listen)

3) I was broken before him but he made a way 

4) He delivered me from fear and doubt and imparted to me the gift of faith 

5) He gave me my heart's desire to travel the country and I did so seeking him 

6) He showed me a vision and a dream 

6) He changed the focus from me to others 

7) He became my best friend 

8) He gave me the dearest friends and prayer partners 

9) I met the greatest man of God 

10) He has shown me adversity is a gift of change 

The past month has been the best and worst month of my life. In it I have been learning that God gave me a dream and now he wants it back. How does one give back a dream that he has given you? I am learning this myself. See I am not the leader of my life and I cannot do it without God receiving all the glory. I feel that God revealed to me a weakness in my life. If someone doesn't understand you or believe in you. You cannot retreat and allow hurt and bitterness to overtake your life. I think the lord saw this weakness and has begun to show me that people may come against you but you must be willing to let God use it for his glory. I asked myself the question, "Lord how ever in the world can I do what you want? How can I prove that I am not the same person I once was? How am I ever to overcome?" The Lord said simply to me- I am your proof! So the answer is you must give the dream back to him. Step back from yourself and just let God do the work. The beautiful thing to realize is that God has already made a way, he knows our every move and he has made a way of escape. Will you listen to his voice? Or will you go around the mountain once more? 

I have learned: 

1) Seek God for his plan 

2) Allow God to impart his plan to you 

3) Pray about the plan and wait for it to come to pass

4) Then when you get the plan you have to give it back and let him do the work 

I know it doesn't make any sense for God to give you something and then require it back again. But didn't he do that with Abraham? Abraham sought for a son. God imparted a promise of his son. Abraham had to wait for a son and messed up in the process. He then received the promise of his son. Then God asked him for his son back and required Abraham to kill his promise! Yet, at the last moment an Angel of the Lord stopped Abraham from killing his promise. But you see Abraham had faith that if he had to kill his promise that God would raise his son from the dead. 

Even as I type this I am amazed that God is revealing to me that is what he is doing with me. So here is my promise Lord, here is my life, here are my hopes and dreams! I give it back to you so you can make it beautiful! My life is not my own and I am bought with a price. I am walking in faith and you are my proof... God I know you will raise my promises from the dead! 

Who Are You Influencing?

The thought has been on my mind this week, who are you influencing? Am I purposely making an effort to influence others in a life to Jesus? Am I so wrapped up in myself that I can’t take the time to pour into another life?

This has been the most amazing year of my life! It began broken and forlorn. Here I was a woman who had literally flushed her life down the toilet because I thought I could do it better on my own. But of course I couldn’t do it alone! I needed Jesus so desperately and he gave me the greatest gift of my life. He allowed me to be able to travel and spend time alone with him. He restored my sanity. I thought I was going crazy, panic attacks and anxiety fits. See my friends’ sin will take you further than you ever thought you would go and keep you longer than you thought you would ever stay.

I sat in church for 3 years broken and desperate for someone to reach out to me. There was one sweet lady at church Sis. Willie who saw something in me and she loved me when no one else seemed to care. It’s kind of funny how you look back and think if it hadn’t been for that one person caring about me, where would I be? How much more should we be reaching to the broken?

I am convicted that I have not been reaching as well as I should be to those who are hurting. I heard the most terrible news this week; dear friends of mine have left our church. I did reach to them but did I do enough? I don’t know and I am determined to keep on praying and reaching for them! See it really does matter who you are influencing. It may seem like it’s a lot of work and maybe you’re tired and maybe you just don’t feel like reaching. But it reminds me of the song by casting crowns, “If we are the body then why aren’t our arms reaching?”

As I traveled I met so many people who poured into my life. It was like at every stop, God had ordained the visit. I spent the summer pouring into others and being poured into by new and old friends. I felt God leading me to be an encourager. I spent the whole summer encouraging and being encouraged by some of the most wonderful people of God! What a wonderful gift! See my life was changed by the power of the spoken word. It was changed because so many people took the time to influence my life. This in turn caused a chain reaction, I too wanted to encourage and influence the lives of others. See you never know how much you can influence someone and give them courage just because you took the time to care.

When I came home, I was in a place of euphoria. I had never been so at peace before in my life. Now this is when God started shifting my focus away from myself. No longer did I need to be poured into in the same ways. Now it was my turn to help others. He began speaking to me about reaching to the lost and hurting. You see I can relate I had had a life of emotional hurts. Now because of where the Lord had brought me from and what he had delivered me from, it was now time for God to teach me how to love the lost once again. It came in the most unusual way.

God started talking to me about ministry. He began opening my eyes to the gospels and how Jesus my Lord and savior had lived his life. He did not come to the rich and the popular. He came to the weary, the broken, the hungry, and the homeless. He was reaching the ones who had no hope who lived in fear and had no where else to turn. He commanded us to go to the highways and the byways. He told us that when we took care of the least of his than we were taking care of Him. I had never been so convicted in my life! Here I was so wrapped up in me and the answer was simple. Feed my sheep!

See there is a principle in abandoning your life for the life of Christ. My life and my desires don’t matter anymore. No longer do I care about whether my life will fall into place. My life is literally in the hands of Jesus. I now am not worried or fretful about the things of this world. They are temporary and in the scheme of life they have no value. The value I have found is in reaching out to those who are hungry, those who need a mentor, and to those who are broken.

God has put a variety of people in my life. Gus who is the most God-centered person I know. His blogs and life have impacted me so deeply. God used him to open my eyes. I will be eternally grateful. You see he influenced me and by his influence God was able to change my perspective. When you truly give yourself away then you will change so many lives and even some you may not know until heaven. So even if you don’t know who you are influencing, try to live your life on purpose.

God also put a young girl Tracy in my life last year. I have been praying for this girl all year. I didn’t realize why God had put her in my life until the last few weeks. He has wanted me to influence her, encourage her, and help develop her. I have never met a young girl who was hungrier for the work of God than this young lady. Already she is excited for the work and ministry that I am working with in Friendship community.

Friendship community is what God has called me to this summer. It is a group of friends headed up by Gus and supported by his pastor Bro. Moore. It is a group of friends reaching out to those who are broken and in need in the community of Longview, TX. They are reaching to homeless camps and RV parks. There are doors being opened left and right! I am so honored that God has allowed this group to come into my life. They are influencing in love. Justin a young boy is Gus’ right hand guy. He is so on fire for the Lord. He is being mentored and used at such a young age. You see it doesn’t matter how old you are or where you have been in your life, God can use you no matter what!

There has been turmoil in the last little bit in my life. This is good for me because it has been teaching me to keep depending on the Lord. The devil isn’t happy that I have made the decision to step out on faith. He isn’t happy that I have decided to move to Longview, TX. He isn’t happy that the gospel is going to move forward. But I am happy because I know a Jesus who can move a mountain. I know a savior that no matter how far you may have fallen in your life that he can pick you up in an instant.

Saul was changed to Paul in one night on the road to Damascus. Jonah was restored when he left the belly of the whale. David was a murderer and a thief but God restored him time after time. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you have done. If God calls you to a place then you better go!!! Do not fear the unknown. Because “IF” you go then Jesus will make a way when there seems no way. We have a covenant with God; “IF” we do it then he is faithful to sustain us. We can’t expect the miracle unless we do our part first, because God will always make a way. But we must first be willing to do what he is asking us to do!

So I implore you dear friend, please take the time to pour into another life. You never know if that child or that broken soul will be saved because you took the time to influence them. Its true pouring into someone takes time and it’s often painful but the rewards are unspeakable. Live your life on purpose! Let Jesus come through your eyes. Speak faith into someone and believe in them when no one else seems to care. I have a new friend that God has brought into my life just because I have taken the time to befriend him. I met him at a coffee shop of all places. I know God is working on him. So who are you willing to influence???

I Give Myself Away

How does one give themselves away?

It's simple really! You give away your time, resources, blood, sweat, and tears. My journey began earlier this summer as I stated in an earlier blog http://mybrokenvessel.blogspot.com/2012/07/raw-oak-tree-or varnished-deck.html but oh how the summer ended. It ended with me seeing exactly the ministry that God was preparing me for all year. No longer is my life a mystery. No longer do I wonder what God might have for me. I am sold out and ready to move into what God wants for my life.

I spent eight days exploring Longview, Tx and Shreveport, La. Yes, my friends I was impressed. Here is a group of people who have sold out to the Lord. They are helping the homeless, the needy, and the underprivileged. It brought me to my knees in conviction because too long I have sat idle doing absolutely nothing of value for the Lord. True, I have been involved in church ministry but was I really helping out my fellow neighbor? The answer is a convicting no! How long have I sat and wasted the God-given talent that Jesus has bestowed on my life? Even now I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. How can this world be reached if I'm not reaching toward them?

I don't want to take another trip around the mountain because I am scared about what God has in my life. How many times have you and I let ministry pass us by because it wasn't convenient or because it didn't fit inside another person's perspective? I had dedicated my entire life to God in doing busy work for the church. I was so unhappy and began to become disappointed in God. Who does that? How could I when the God of all creation came down and died for my sins? Selfishness, self-centeredness and bitterness enveloped my life. I was so focused on what I was "doing" for the Lord that I forgot to put him first. You see if I was seeking him first in my life then I would have recognized that my purpose in life is to lead others to Jesus.

Leading others to Jesus is tedious, ugly, dirty, painful work. You pour your life into them with no guarantee that they will serve the Lord. That is the part we have to get over in our walk with Jesus. He wants us to seek him first and to feed his sheep. We are to reach out to the lowly, the hungry, the homeless, and the needy. When you take care of the least of his, he will take care of you. It is principle based our goal is to lead others to salvation but if you meet people's basic needs he will reward your efforts.

Who should we be supporting and reaching?

1) Missionaries who give up their whole life for the gospel. They leave their families and their country and all they know to reach the lost. God said if anyone would do this he would reward their efforts. We need to support them by giving and going.

2) We should be reaching the lost and needy right here at home. Did you know there were homeless, needy people on every corner? Did you know the least of these are who we are sent to reach? Support these efforts by donating your time and money.

I was convicted and inspired by my trip to Longview, TX. I have bought into the dreams and visions of those who are there now doing the work. My life has been forever changed by the lives of those who have sacrificed their lives to help those in need. My life is not my own to him I belong and I give myself away!

Are you willing to change and give your life to the Lord? Why are you waiting? There is no need to take another trip around the mountain!

"With A Life of Privelage Requires Much Responsbility"

       "Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what
          ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body,
          what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the
          body than raiment?" Matthew 6:25

My life of privilege requires much responsibility, "...For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more." Luke 12:48 I am convicted with my life! I have been blessed beyond measure. I was raised in the truth of the holy ghost. I have never been without food, clothes, or shelter. I have never been abused or abandoned. I did not come from a broken family or ever wonder if I was loved. I went to a private Christian school, I was raised in the church youth group, I went to 4 years of bible school, and I have always had a good job.

In my spiritual life I have seen every miracle and yet I still have doubted the Lord. How can I doubt his glory? He who has saved me from everything?  

            "Then came the Jews round about him, and said unto him, How long dost thou make us to doubt? If thou be the Christ, tell us plainly. Jesus answered them, I told you, and ye believed not: the works that I do in my Father's name, they bear witness of me. But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep, as I said unto you. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. I and my Father are one." John 10:24-30

I to have seen blind eyes opened. I have seen people walk out of wheel chairs. I have seen people healed of cancer. I have seen people healed from MS and Lupus. I have seen a leg grow before my very eyes. I have seen every manner of miracle in my short lifetime of 32 years. I have felt the glorious presence of God my entire life!

And yet...

I have doubted whether there was even a God. I have lived in the bondage of self pity and loathing. I have lived in fear and doubt. If there is really a God then how come he hasn't done what I've wanted him to do when I wanted him to do it? No, God is not our personal servant. We are to be his servant. This past year has been the most eye opening year of my life! I was praying this summer and I asked the Lord, "Why did you leave me? Why when I was doing all these things for you; praise singing, Sunday school, choir, youth ministry, etc etc?" He said, "You were so busy doing unto me but you were not looking at me!" I was so concerned for doing unto the Lord that I forgot to be in love with the Lord. No longer can I think that doing unto God is all that I have to do! It's true the work of the Lord is important. But those are just busy things. Think of it this way----It would be like a police officer: he shows up to work in uniform, he drives the right car, he files all the right papers, but he never serves or protects. He looks and does all the right things but he never acts to help people. Or as a friend said this weekend, you are sitting in the gas station all gassed up and you never drive down the road!

Questions that I am posing to myself and to you:

1) What are you willing to give up? The bible says we are to lose our life for him and that we can't save it ourselves. We think that by doing it our way we are actually pleasing God! "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it." Luke 9:24 How do we lose our lives to the gospel? We do it by doing what he told us to do. We are to feed his sheep, the hurting, the broken, the ones no one wants to help. I sit here at this computer with tears running down my face as I am convicted once again by my life. Who have I reached out to today?

The words are so plain...

"Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them,

and do not hide from relatives who need your help. Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind. Then when you call, the Lord will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply. “Remove the heavy yoke of oppression. Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors! Feed the hungry,

and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon. The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength.You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring." Isaiah 58:7-11 NLT

Then the words of Jesus...

"For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal." Matthew 25:35-46

2) We say that we want more of Jesus; but do we really? People are messy! And those people who are hurting, hungry, and dirty are even more messy. You can't help people with the idea that it is about you. It is never about you! You may help people and they may never turn to God but that is not our responsibility. Our responsibility is to meet their needs here on earth so that they have a chance to even know that there even is a God. How sad that we often predicate our love by what we receive in return. The lord brings in the harvest and that is not our command to worry about how many "people" actually receive the message. Yes, we want to see them saved but how can they be saved if they don't even know he exists? The only Jesus anyone may see is in you. Is he in your life? Do you share his love with others? Or are you just concerned with the social norm and the status quo. Shame on us!

3) But are we in fact conforming Jesus into our own image? Jesus is not in a box. He is not pretty, blue eyed and blonde haired. He is not excited that we come to church every week and sit on the pew. It is not serving the Lord to just be present for roll call. If we are not reaching for those who are lost and in the highways and biways then who are we? We spend so much time concerning ourselves with our outward appearance that we forget the purpose of it all. Yes, we should look our best when we come into the house of the Lord but there is a balance that we must have. It should no be what drives us. It should not be our consuming passion and it should not be what makes us who we are inside. There must be balance and all things in moderation!

4) Do we in fact conform God in our own image with little or no sacrifice and expect that we are actually worshiping him; or are we actually worshiping ourselves?

"Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship: for salvation is of the Jews. But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshipers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth." John 4:22-24

How can we worship him in spirit and in truth if we are not living the truth he has set before us? If we don't seek after the things of God and we don't follow his example then we cannot be in right spirit or in truth. It is when we lose ourselves to the gospel and take up his cross and follow his commands that are living his plan for our lives. Then we can be in right spirit and relationship with God. 

Conclusion:

Salvation Plan   1) Believe, John 3:16

                        2) Repent, Acts 2:38

                        3) Baptized in the name of Jesus, Acts 2:38

                        4) Receive the Holy Ghost evidence with speaking in tongues, Acts 2:4 & Acts 2:38

Then...

                        1) Daily continual prayer, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

                        2) Bible reading daily, Proverbs 2:1-3

                        3) Lose yourself to the Lord, Luke 9:24

                        4) Love God with your heart, mind and soul, Matthew 22:37 

                        5) Love your neighbor as yourself, Matthew 22:39

                        6) Feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe and help the homeless, Isaiah 58:7-11

                        7) Set aside the weights of this world that so easily beset us, Hebrews 12:1

                        8) Give thanks in all things being content, Ephesians 5:20

                        9) Holy life set apart from the world, 1 Peter 1:15-16, John 15:19

                       10) Setting aside vanity, Ecclesiastes 6:9

When we do these these things it is then that we can be assured that we are doing what is required of us! We can enter into heaven and hear the words, "Well done thou good and faithful servant." We can sit at his feet and rule beside him and forevermore be worshiping the one and only true God!