Today I am thankful...

Today I am thankful…

It has been a little while since I have put a blog on here but I have been pretty busy. Life here in Longview over the last several months has been mind-blowing. It seems that every step I take has been ordained from the Lord. He has blessed me with favor!

My Apartment

The newest thing in my personal life is that God blessed me with a home of my own right in the city of Longview. I was blessed to live with a lady I consider family for the first 6 months in my new state. Then by the hand of the Lord, He hand delivered me a place to live without much of a fuss in the least. The beautiful thing is that I am 4.5 miles from my job and only 3 miles from church. The moment I moved into Longview proper the Lord has opened door after door.

My Job

The next thing that God blessed me with is a new job. I work in the oil and gas industry as a data analyst. The job is right up my alley because I worked in data management for many years in Michigan at the DMV. I was just hired on completely and converted to a permanent employee. I will have full medical benefits, dental, vision etc. I have been blessed with the whole nine yards. The job is fulfilling with a lot of room for growth and flexibility. I am so excited to be a part of a team!

The Lord’s Work

The best part is the ministry that God has used me in here in Longview. The Lord has opened many doors for me to help with the homeless. As many of you know I began an endeavor in Michigan last year before the Lord opened the door for me to move to Longview. He had called me to Texas and then He said wait. While I was visiting friends and selling my new book Unfolding the Rose.

"You can order the book on this blog to the right through paypal. Or you can order on Amazon which also offers a Kindle Version"

The Lord opened the door for a job working with homeless families in the City of Longview. Needless to say I left for a week and didn't come home.

        Ministry---

It was while working with these homeless families that God has now begun to open up the door now. I have been honored and blessed to have these women contact me months later asking to come to church. I have never stopped praying for these women and their children. I have been able to bring four family units to church!!! God is on the move! One lady has been baptized, one lady is coming every week with her children, and the same lady is in a new bible study with me.

Please help me pray for doors further to be opened at the Women’s shelter. I have an open door that I am pursuing to teach a group women’s bible study in the shelter. I know that this will be another avenue that God can work a miracle in the lives of the homeless in Longview!

Bonnie getting Baptized! 

Longview First Church---

I am honored that God has allowed me to become a part of a church family that has taken me in and loved me from the start. There is nothing like walking into the doors of a church and feeling their love. I am honored and grateful for each and every one of you! I am also honored and blessed to have an amazing pastor and pastor's wife! 

Update!!! 

So excited! This past Sunday my sweet friend received the Holy Ghost with evidence of speaking in other tongues! There is revival in Longview! I am honored to be a part of the Lord's work. It isn't me in the least but to God be all the glory! 

She Received the Holy Ghost! 

My Bible Study :) 

Friendships!!!!!

Nanny and I. She took me and and blessed my life continually for 6 months!

I would also like to give thanks for the many friendships that God has placed in my life in the past 7 or 8 months. I have been blessed with friends who have become more than friends they have become family! Every door the Lord opens in my life is a friendship that is right on time! There are too many to name but you all know who you are! I am here for you, if ever you need me. I am not perfect and I fail often but I am blessed with all of you who love me anyways. Today I am so thankful! 

Family...

Ann and I 

Edith and I 

Faith and I 

Stacy, Sharla, and I 

Mandi and I 

Happenings...

Today I am sitting in the Longview Library and I am overwhelmed by the mercies of the Lord. I have been on a journey for the last few years and yes I mean years... I have been on a journey that no, is not complete but the outer edges of the puzzle are being formed for His glory. 

I am excited to announce that my sweet friend, the first one in Longview was

baptized last night in the wonderful saving name of Jesus Christ! I am so excited about where God is opening the door for me here in ministry. It is not about me or who I am but it is about the work of the Lord.

He has called me here for a purpose and that door has begun to open.  A few weeks ago I met Jimmy at the public library, which is why I am here today actually. I came looking for him to bring him an umbrella. It has begun to rain and he has not been able to get into shelter yet as far as I know. I felt led of the Lord to come to the Library a few weeks ago and that is where I met some new friends Jimmy and Dan. They were sitting on the park bench outside and something just came over me and I went up to them both. I ended up sitting there for over 2 hours just listening to their stories and being a friend. Then Jimmy decided to come to church with me on a Wednesday night. I was so excited! Here a door of opportunity to meet people at the library who are broken and alone.

Jimmy referred me to volunteer and go to a local soup kitchen. It was the third or fourth time that I was recommended to visit this place, so I went. I was welcomed and began volunteering the very next day. When moving to Longview I had a temporary job with a local homeless organization but this job had ended. I had some free time and there is something in me that compels me to reach for those in need. I really can’t explain it… When you are reaching for souls and you see results something makes you want to reach for them even more…

I spent a few days at the soup kitchen and was able to pour into several people. There was one young man and I will call him Dave. He was drawn to me the whole four hours I was there. He told me it was his birthday. I burst out into song and anyone who knows me (knows this is often). He stopped me and said, “Wait, wait, I want to record you, I am moving to Las Vegas and I can listen to you on the bus the whole way there!” I was honored and sang into the camera for him. He knew I was Pentecostal and said that he had been raised around people like me. He was so excited to know me. I am glad I took the time to be kind to him because the next day I was told that he was dying of aids and that he was going to live with loved ones in Las Vegas. You never know whom you are impacting and how just a little extra time can change someone’s life and give them hope.

Another homeless friend I have been working with has allowed me to pray with her. She came to me in tears thinking she was sick with cancer. I laid hands on her and declared healing for her body. It is not me but the Jesus in me who is using me for His glory. I mention her because she is a part of the job where I was working. I was able to see her and another lady from the shelter down at the kitchen. I was able to sit and minister to these families. They are broken and just need someone to come along and give them hope. It seems that yes, I am but one person yet each one can reach one.

What is your focus? Are you reaching for those who are hurting? I challenge you to step out in faith and speak hope to someone around you. Jesus brings in the increase but its our job to toss the net and those who are hungry will eat. We don’t determine who is worthy and who will come to Him but the more we throw out our net the more they will eat.

You can never stop reaching! You must be reaching for all you meet. You can ask God to open the door but you must be willing to step through when He gives you an opening. There might be only one chance to tell them. Don’t be scared! Just show them genuine love and compassion and they will be drawn to you. I have been in Longview about 4 months and I counted up the amount of people God has led me to and the number is astonishing! One person really can reach their world!

Her name is Bonnie my first friend to get baptized in Longview. God has allowed me to reach 7 homeless friends from the streets of Ann Arbor. Revival is springing forth in a city that I am no longer in but I was the starter. Will you be a starter? Will you reach your world? You don’t have to go to the homeless shelters, the library steps, the soup kitchens, or even the streets to reach the hungry. You can reach them on your job, your neighborhood and the local supermarket. You can make a difference!

My new friend Sammy is a dynamic soul winner, he lives in Dallas and he has inspired me to speak every where I am at… Boy am I inspired and in awe. In a short while he won 9 families to the Lord and in the past year alone he won 18 different people to the Lord. I am humbled and honored that the Lord allowed him to come into my life. I have so much to learn and it is so inspiring!

… Another friend Faith who is also moving to the Dallas area is talented in outreach. She has been a prayer partner and an instant friend. She too has seen many souls come to the Lord. These are the type of people that I want to learn from. I want to be a soul winner for all types of people. I never want to be limited inside a box of my own making.

Both of these friends God has been putting me in contact with in the last few weeks. God does not make mistakes. He knows just who to bring into our lives and just when they will make the greatest impact. It is my desire to impact those of you who are reading this… We all need a little bit more inspiration. Just think that you reach today could be the greatest soul winner of our time or that soul winner just might be you! 

*Praise report! I was blessed with a memory foam bed when I have been sleeping on the floor for 3 months! 

**I got a full time solid job with full benefits and the whole nine yards! 

This has been one of the greatest weeks for blessings! God is always right on time! 

A Call to Volunteer

A Call To Volunteer

Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I: send me.

Isaiah 6:7

I wonder how many people don’t yield to the calling of the Lord in their lives. I am sure the rate is alarmingly high for I myself was there at one point in my life. I think the main problem was that I didn’t think I was worthy of the calling. How could the Lord want to use me? I was such an unlikely choice. I have said this before in a few forums, but I was 12 years old when the Lord called me. I was crying myself to sleep from the bullying at school. I heard Him call me so sweetly and He told me He had a plan for my life and that it was in the ministry. I honestly didn’t believe it!

I was an outcast in school. I was alienated for years and my self confidence was non-existent. It was at this young age that I began to wall up my emotions, so surely God could not be calling me. The bottom line I was scared…

I missed my calling when I came home from Bible School because I was too scared and I counted the cost to be too much for me to handle. I didn’t pray like I was supposed to and I gave up on the calling on my life because the road was too hard. I felt inadequate and I was right because I didn’t pursue His will in my life.

He will only use you if you are willing to seek after His will in your life. He is looking for a willing volunteer to go. He will not force you to do His calling. But when you sell out you must be willing to answer His calling… No matter the cost.

I coined a phrase, “It cost you nothing for salvation but once you’re saved it cost you everything to answer the call.”

Whom shall I send? God was looking for someone to go and answer the call. He asked a question because we must be willing volunteers. We must be willing to sell out and do whatever He is calling us to do.

1) You will be lonely

2) Those you love will turn their backs on you

3) No one will understand you

4) You will look and seem insane

It is the price to pay. At one moment they will sing your praises and in the next moment they will want to crucify you. The important thing to remember is that the will of God is not predicated on your emotions or the emotions of others. You will want to give up. You will want to run for the hills. It might seem easier to run but then what of the souls?

I asked the Lord before I began this current part of my journey, “Lord, are you sure? I see so many doors opening; you are saving so many souls.” He said to me that there were needy people everywhere but this is where He was calling me. I swallowed deep and told the Lord that His will be done and not my own. He wanted me to be a willing volunteer. He wanted me to sell out and want to go and do what He was telling me to do.

God knows our hearts and His question might be, “Who will go?” But it is more of a reflexive question. He is a God who is waiting for our ready hearts to be willing to reveal themselves and to answer the call. He is waiting for the, “Lord send me” statements. He wants to reach the lost through willing hearts not hearts that don’t want to be used.

It has been a process and I have realized that although I want to do His will. I have not embraced moving like I should. I have been distracted by my surroundings and I have been looking at the situation with the wrong eyes. I think I have failed at my task to be a willing and surrendered servant for the Kingdom. I have felt compelled and maybe almost forced to be here. I have come at the situation all wrong and I have failed miserably.

Have you been waiting for God to force you to serve Him? He is looking for willing volunteers. I have realized that being willing to come and then regretting my decision, and then asking God to release me, has made me my own stumbling block. I did not choose the location but now I choose to answer the call no matter the cost!

 We have to be a witness, a missionary, a Christian worker who has decided to answer the calling. It is a divine commission Jesus gives us the calling and we are willing volunteers who desire to answer the call no matter what. I want to be like Isaiah and be the answer to God’s question. I want to answer the call… I have prayed all my life, “Lord, send me! Here I am! Not my will but thy will be done!” Isaiah did not hesitate and that is my desire, not to hesitate when God tells me to do anything. I want my life to be lived as a willing servant.

A few things I have learned on the journey are that you have to have a heart that is in the presence of God.

1) You can’t expect that anyone else can know your heart or even understand you in the least. I challenge you to lose yourself in the presence of the Lord. It will be painful but it will be worth it in the end.

2) Just as Isaiah had a heart that had been touched by fire, you too will have a fire experience. It will be a cleansing fire. He will ask you to give up the things of this world. He will call you to a life of prayer, fasting, and dedication to the Word of God.

In return He will give you a heart that hears the voice of God to reach the nations. He will give you a heart for souls. He will change how you view life and its worth. He will become your all consuming fire! He will become your everything.

 He will strip away everything from your life but He will replace it with a peace that surpasses all understanding. He will replace hate with love. He will give you compassion for those around you that no one understands why you care. He will take every particle of your being and say,

“This is what I have for you… Trust me. I will never leave you or forsake you. I have you in the palm of my hand. I did not bring you this far just to drop you. You can’t see the whole picture but the pieces are in play. I am your protector. There is nothing that I do not have for you. Hold fast to my promises and my word and ye shall see it come to pass.”

These are just a few things that God has spoken to me. But if He said it to me then He will say it to you. He is no respector of persons and His word is forever settled in Heaven. He is looking for a volunteer. Will you be that volunteer? You can have as much of God as you want. God loves us all the same but how much do you love Him? That is the crux of the matter… Now is the time! Now is the time to give up this selfish life and sell out to answering the call of the King. It won’t be easy. You will want to give up. Everyone will tell you to give up.

But if you seek after His calling and become a willing volunteer, your life will be fulfilled. Every void you are trying to fill will become full. You must be willing to answer the call and then take your hand from it and let God do it. His word cannot return void. His will shall be fulfilled in your life. You just have to stop trying to fix it all alone. I learned this lesson the hard way. God is not looking for our help in the situation. He is only looking for our willingness. He will move the mountain you just have to be willing to wait in the valley until He moves it.

Are you being called to volunteer? If you are it will be worth the valley…

How Does Light Shine Through?

How Does Light Shine Through?

We all want to look our best and put our best foot forward. We are all on the potter’s wheel and are apart of the master designer.

The Master molds us, shapes us, He puts His hand on us and digs deep into our very soul…

Once we are shaped we are handcrafted and sanded down into a beautiful vessel somewhat like a vase. There are hours, days, and sometimes years involved with the process of our shape. We are put in the fire and we are painted until we become just what God can use us for His glory.

Sometimes though…

We are sitting on the shelf and we are doing our part and we are holding the water that we were designed to hold. There are beautiful flowers in our vase and they are blooming. Then something happens and the flowers begin to die and the water begins to dry up in our lives. We were once full but we stopped getting fresh water from the Master and the flowers stopped budding in our vase.

Then…

The unthinkable happens the vase tips over from the shelf and we are broken into little pieces. There are pieces all over the room and it seems just like humpty dumpty we can never be put back together again.

How can I ever fulfill my purpose again?

Then comes the Master…

He lovingly scoops the pieces into His big all powerful hands. He searches for all the pieces of our vase. He looks in the dark corners, under the chairs, and behind every shut door. He scoops up every shard and sits down at His wheel and begins to glue us back together again.

The pieces take time to put back together. The Master lovingly spends countless hours putting back together His creation. The glue is painful; the pieces don’t fit in all the exact same places. There are shards of guilt, pain, fear, oppression, depression, anxiety, doubt, shame, and anguish that He lovingly decides to remove from the original design.

The once put together vase now looks like a puzzle or rather a road map. There are intersections and jigsaws. There are juts and jags. There are highways and roadways. There are open cracks in the new creation.

But the open cracks allow light to shine through the vase that never could shine through before. The original design only had room to be filled and it never had a purpose for light to shine through. No longer can the vase hold water but instead it overflows and runs out over the sides.

The Vase= our life.

Once we are broken then when Jesus puts us back together we are still a vessel but we serve a greater purpose. We have all the cracks in us but that just means His light can shine through us. Yes, we were once beautiful sitting on the shelf but now His beauty is able to inhabit our lives. His beauty is what shines through us in our broken place.

We think all is lost and that it is all over because we are not as we once were. But really we are finally fulfilling our purpose because now the light of Jesus’ love can shine through the cracks of our broken life. Only He has the understanding to our roadmap and only He can find all the pieces to our puzzle.

Don’t dismay if God gave you a promise it will come to pass. He is the one who gave the promise so that means He is the one who has to fulfill the promise. He owns our promises and God cannot lie, so what He has said will come to pass. And if it doesn’t for some reason happen the way that you think, still praise Him because at any moment He will fulfill His word in your life!

Don’t be afraid of the process of breaking… Because it is the brokenness that you become the most beautiful vessel as His light shines through your life!

How does light shine through?

The light shines through the cracks of brokenness.

What's the point?

What’s the point?

I have asked this question a lot in the past year. What is the point Lord? I don’t really have the words to describe how hard it is to do something you don’t want to do. I really can only think of one thing I did this past year that I really wanted to do, well maybe two things. I went on my road trip and God used it to open my eyes to His purpose. The other thing well it has been a disaster from the start. So, what’s the point Lord?

The point is this when you sell out and say, “Not my will but thy will be done.” You truly do lose your free will. I mean you can keep trying to do it your own way but God never seems to let that happen when you sell out. I have said this so many times but it is true for my life. When God says “Go” I just have to do what He says. It blows my mind every time I listen and maybe not right away but I see the hand of the Lord on my life. Most of the time it is way after the fact but it still holds true. I was reminded of His plan for me today.

I was sitting in the church and yes as I often am crying lol (there is a reason for that statement.) God reminded me of so many promises. I went reading through my prayer journals and I am always amazed when I do that because I see patterns of how God has been talking to me. Months can have gone by and I see the same words and phrases He has given me and it becomes its own confirmation. Last night at church there was a message that was preached about puzzle pieces and it reminded me of something God had given me in early July when I moved to Longview. I found it and it blew my mind.

God always confirms His word and it will not return void!

I saw so many things in my journals that made no sense a year ago take form and it was like the light was shining. It makes so much more sense to me now. I would like to go on record saying that I truly am a selfish person. God has been working this out of me for so long but when you look back over the promises and then you see the results in front of you, the answer is simple, “I am still selfish”. I am thankful for a God who tries to bring that out so that I don’t have to stay in the same destructive pattern. I have failed miserably but as my pastor from home has told me, “God is in control.”

Ouch! that is a hard one to not lose sight of because we as people get so wrapped up in our own thoughts that we get sidetracked from the vision at hand. God has been speaking to me about my focus and how that it has to be on Him.

I thought it was…

I thought I was doing what He was telling me to do. It is sad to point out that I always fail in this area of my life. I put my best foot forward and welp it always gets misconstrued… lol some day I will learn. I will say this though, I may have missed the mark but God is still in control and knows the outcome. I am sure glad He knows what the point is?

I am only a servant in the army of the Lord. I can’t look to the left or to the right and neither can you my friends. The devil brings distractions to keep us from the mission at hand. The point is: “The souls are white and ready to harvest.” And when you sell out, you have to be willing to go where you’d rather give your eye teeth not to go. I said it once today I would rather be in Siberia. It would be easier to crawl up in a corner and die.

But not this time Devil…

I don’t think I have ever been so mad at the devil. When I am mad it makes me fight stronger in the Lord. No weapon formed against us shall prosper! You may have won the battle but the end of the book says, “We win!”

Don’t give up on your dream just before it comes to pass! I encourage you to throw yourself at the altar of surrender. You think it is too much to bear, (I know I have been there.) But I promise you there is beauty in the ashes. He will resurrect you from the dead. He made you a promise and the only reason there are unfulfilled promises is because you stopped pursuing them. My pastor preached this week that you have to kill your promises because if you do God will raise them from the dead. If Abraham was willing to kill his only son without God living inside him, then how much more should you and I kill my promise? I give up trying to do it my way, obviously I umm stink at it!

The whole point is: people will laugh at you, they will mock you, they will misunderstand you, they will turn their back on you, they will judge you, they won't forgive you, and possibly, yes, hate you. But you don’t answer to them; they are not your Master and Judge. So I implore you…Follow through with God’s point for your life. It is always darkest before the dawn…

God Bless you my friends…

What's your dream?

What is your dream? 

What kind of person are you? Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you friendly? 

Or are you distant?

These might be the kinds of personalities that you portray to the outside world. But who are you really? You might put on a happy smile, but is that who you really are? I will tell you a piece of who I am…

"It wasn't my dream but I got here as fast as I could to help it become a reality" 



This year has been my year of tears...

I have spent 365 days and counting, praying about the City of Longview, Texas. I have been heartbroken and heartsick. I have been given dreams, promises, and visions of a little town in East Texas. But through the tears I have held my head high and put on a happy face. Because I believe that you should always project the Jesus you love first and foremost.

Do I have it all together? Surely not my friends. God has spent the past 6 months at least refining who I am. In that process I have realized that I have put my best foot forward but that hasn’t been the real me for the most part. Yes, my joy is in the Lord and I am overwhelmed by his love and mercy…

But my tears have been for the souls I see in my prayers. The faces I see in my dreams. And the multitudes I see in my visions…I asked God a question this year, “How can I do it alone?” And then I asked, “How can I do it if I am not in Longview?” The thing that broke my heart mostly this past year was the possibility of not reaching the multitudes because I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.

But then God made a way when there seemed to be no way…

On July 22^nd I officially moved to Longview, TX and today September 9^th I officially handed to our new landlord our signed copy of our lease agreement for Friendship Community House in Longview, TX. In less than two months of me moving to Longview, God opened the most amazing door! We actually are getting two houses for the price of one!  

"The Community House" 

"The Dream House" 






The houses literally 
fell into our laps. And as I have already said to others, stand back and marvel at his glory. When God gets ready to move, He does it better than we could ask or think!

The house will be about becoming part of a community and reaching the forgotten in their own neighborhood. It is about building lasting relationships and friendships. It is about making a difference and taking the time to really get to know people.

We will speak the truth… But first we will show them the love of Jesus Christ so we can add them to our family and then to the family of God. What good is it to win someone to God and then just have them walk right back out the door? Not everyone will come to a church but they will come to a house! Not everyone will come to a fellowship hall but everyone will come to a neighborhood BBQ. Not everyone will come to the altar and bow their heads but they will join hands with their neighbors in a common circle of friendship. There is power in a house because in it families are made and friends are there to last a lifetime!

I am honored to work beside the best man I know, Mr. Gus LaFosse. He and I have been on a journey that has had many twists in the road but in the end (which now is only the beginning) there is no one I would rather work beside! I believe in him and his vision. God allowed me the honor to buy into his vision and dream. God told me a year ago that this was only the first step and I have only just arrived. Can you imagine where God will take us in a year?

There are many ways to get involved:

1)  Donate time

2)Donate money

3)         Donate supplies

I will give more specifics later but immediately you can sow a seed for our ministry.

1)      You can donate at least $500 to be in the bronze circle and have your name or company engraved on a brick paver.

2)   You can become a monthly sponsor and paypal lets you set up an autopay method. Or you can give a one-time love offering.

   www.mybrokenvessel.blogspot.com has    a link to donate

3)   You can contact me directly to pay with all major credit cards.

4)    Or you can send me a check to 1000 S Danville Rd Apt 521 Kilgore, TX 75662 made payable to Linda Hanekamp or Gus LaFosse.
5)   You can also order my book Unfolding the Rose 

  which is available for purchase on this web blog. The proceeds go to funding the Community House! 

  You can also order my amazing friend Gus LaFosse's book, The Truth About Walls and Bridges 

         at his blog www.friendshipcommunityhouse.org 

*If you order both books together we will combine shipping into one shipping cost! 

I am amazed that in one short year of tears that God has brought the first phase of my promise to me. There is nothing that is impossible for God and if He is in it then there is no mountain that cannot be moved. I am living proof that His word is true and He will do all He has said He will do and more.

So I ask the question again, “What kind of person are you?”  Move beyond your facade and your tears...Are you willing to move into your promise? I believe in you! Just like I maybe strong on the outside but that is a façade… I am weak but He is strong! He has given me the strength to make it to the first phase of my promise and in that I will hang tight for the rest of the promise…

Help us make our dreams and promises a reality!! Partner with us for Friendship Community House!
www.friendshipcommunityhouse.org