A Marriage for a Lifetime!

Are you ready to embark on a journey? Have you ever wondered how it is supposed to work? What does the bible have to say about a biblical marriage? And is it really that important? These are the questions I am going to attempt to answer in this blog. I have stewed on this subject for over a year. I have studied it in the Word and have had God give me insight into His perfect plan for marriage. So come take a walk with me as we begin our story of a young woman named Rebekah.

The story of Isaac and Rebekah is a familiar story to most. I want to emphasize that although I am going to lay out a biblical marriage blueprint for us in the physical it is also a typology of our marriage to God as the bride of Christ. Every reflection of marriage and even the reason why God made marriage is so that we could understand what it means to be married to God. I will touch on that some but truly I want to lay out a blueprint of Gods plan for our lives.

There are so many things going on in today’s society and the media. But, how do we as single Christians find our Isaac or Rebekah? With the alarming divorce rate in and out of the church, should we even bother looking? I am sure this is how Rebekah felt so long ago.

1) A servant’s heart

And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter…And he said O Lord God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham. Genesis 24:9,12

Man: The servant of Abraham is a type and shadow of the man today who is serving his master (Jesus). He prayed to God and asked God to show him who Isaac’s wife would be just as a man of God will pray and ask God to show him who his wife is today. He will be a servant of the Lord. (As most of us do not have a manservant to go and find us a wife.)

Here we can also note that the man is the one who went in search of his bride. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22 Ladies as much as we might want to pursue a husband it just isn’t in the plan of God. We have to let them find us! This is ever a hard lesson to learn and sadly most do not. In a world where roles are reversed and identities are confused this is hard to have faith that the man will actually find us. Reminds me of a quote I saw one time, “My knight isn’t on a horse, he’s lost in the woods on a turtle.” Well he may be “lost” but it’s not our job to find him. We can only pursue him in prayer. God will reward you but you will have to wait for the promise.

He is a praying man! He will also pursue you in prayer! If he isn’t praying for you now, why would you waste your time on a façade of a promise?

And he said O Lord God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham. Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water: And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master. Genesis 24:12-14

Woman: A woman must also be a servant like Rebekah was on that day. How many days had she willingly gone to the well to draw water? I am sure she was tired after the long walk in the desert that day. It was hard work to lift the water jug down into the well. I wonder how often she thought that God had forgotten her. I don’t think there is a single woman alive in church who hasn’t thought this before. We see here that she served and her decision to serve a stranger opened the door to her heart’s desire.

And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up. And the servant ran to meet her, and said, Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher. And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink. And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking. And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels. Genesis 24:16-20

If you are lacking direction in your life and you don’t know how God will ever bring you your mate, I implore you to choose to be a servant. Be a servant on your job. Be a servant at your church. Be a servant to your pastor. Be a servant to your family. Be a servant to your community. The key to God opening doors in your life is to be a willing servant. Serve with no expectation of recognition. Serve with a heart of worship. Serve the least of the Kingdom in love. Don’t serve with the idea of if I serve God will bring me my man! No, a servant serves and because they serve they are rewarded not because it’s their duty but because it is in their heart to help others.

2) A Praying Man and Woman

There are two times the servant prays in this story. He prays for guidance and then he worships God for answering his prayer.

And said, Whose daughter art thou? tell me, I pray thee: is there room in thy father's house for us to lodge in? And she said unto him, I am the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, which she bare unto Nahor. She said moreover unto him, We have both straw and provender enough, and room to lodge in. And the man bowed down his head, and worshipped the Lord. Genesis 24:23-26

Ladies~ your husband is a prayer warrior! He is seeking God for you hand in marriage! He is worshipping at home and he is worshipping in church. He is putting God first in all He does. He is seeking to honor you with his attentions. His purpose is to lead you closer to Jesus. He is not seeking you in secret. He is not asking you to compromise your morals or your virtue. He is looking to provide you with the very best he has to offer! Do not be fooled by those who are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Your husband will be upfront and clear with his intentions. He will have sought godly council from his leaders and have fasted and prayed.

Men~ your wife will have the fruit of the spirit and be adorned in godly jewels. The servant of the Lord will have placed them upon her life. She will be a testament of beauty and grace.

And it came to pass, when he saw the earring and bracelets upon his sister's hands, and when he heard the words of Rebekah his sister, saying, Thus spake the man unto me; that he came unto the man; and, behold, he stood by the camels at the well. Genesis 24:30

She will have the gifts of the spirit operating in her life. She will be a prayer warrior. She will be evident of who she is in God and she will be a testament of God working in her life. She will be set apart seeking God first in her life, a servant seeking to please even the lowliest of strangers.

3) The Blessings of Counsel

Both will seek godly counsel. The man will make his intentions known. The woman will tell her family and loved ones and seek approval. It can never be the will of God to not include your pastor, your family, and loved ones in your life’s decision. This will bring the blessings of the Lord on your life. You will begin life together the right way and not in shame. There is no hurry! You don’t have to run away together and elope. You don’t have to marry in secret! The blessing of your family and church family is the best plan. I know there are circumstances that don’t allow this and there are always situations of unsaved family not welcoming your marriage but the part you have to play is including them even if in your circumstance they don’t like your proposed spouse. The point is you asked for the blessing and you did your due diligence to go through all the right channels.

And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me: and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left. Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the Lord: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good. Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife, as the Lord hath spoken. Genesis 24:49-51

Rebekah was a blessing as she went and followed her husband. The woman goes to the man! I know this point might not be popular but it’s a valid point. The woman should always follow the man. When it comes to, where do we live? Whose church do we go to? Which state should we live in?

The answer is simple! The woman goes where he wants her to go. Now the man may want to move to your church etc. but that has to be his choice. When you as a woman do not follow your husband and demand him to follow you, you tip the balance of leadership. If you want him to be a leader this is the first place you let him lead you. The best answer is to take it to prayer and allow God to tell him and then be willing to listen to his answer. You will never be sorry you let him be the leader. If you are a woman who seeks after the heart of God you will be willing to follow your husband to the ends of the earth!

4) The Blueprint for Marriage

Rebekah went to her husband And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go. Genesis 24:58 She left that entire life she knew to follow a promise to become a mother of many nations. She left her family in faith that God had led her to a man who would provide for her needs: spiritual, physical, and emotional needs.

Isaac is working in the field  And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming. Genesis 24:63 Here is another example of your husband. He is working in the field of souls. He is a servant himself in the house of the Lord. He is busy about the Father’s business. He is not sitting idly by and doing nothing but he is provider for spiritual, physical and emotional needs. No my sister in the Lord, he is working in the kingdom. He is kingdom minded. He is working and learning to be a provider while he is waiting for God to show him who you are as his bride.

The Marriage And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel. For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. Genesis 23:64-67 

She followed him. He recognized her for her gifts. (There are things that we ask God to do, when praying for a spouse and then when we see those things being answered in that person we know that God is answering our prayers. I personally have asked God some specific things for my mate and I believe that He will answer those prayers if I am willing to wait on the promise!) She was modest!!!!! This is a huge deal! A woman entering into a biblical marriage will be modest. She will not be sensual, seductive in either her clothing or the way she presents herself. He took her as his wife. He didn’t have poor intentions. He was honorable towards her and did not lead her on. She became his confidant and comforter. They became each others life partner!

In conclusion, I pray that you have read this blog with an open heart and open mind. Key point to remember:

1) Seek God’s will in Prayer

2) Have a Servant’s Heart

3) Praying Man and Woman

4) Worship God with your answer

5) Seek Godly Counsel

6) Recognize spiritual fruit and gifts

7) Be willing to lead and to follow

8) Work in the field

9) Be modest in your person

10) Have honest intentions

11) Allow God to unfold your own love story!