Who Am I?
Who am I?
This is an important question to ask oneself at various points in our walk with
God. Who am I? Who am I becoming? Why do I do the things I do? If we are not
looking to be better, than we will always stay the same. Oftentimes it is a person
in our life that might point out our flaws, and whether it is a true assessment
bares self-reflection. We must have a teachable spirit, or the spirit of meekness, if we are going to grow beyond where we are in our current troubles. It is interesting
to me that two particularly important people in my life are both teaching on
the B attitudes in Matthew 5. We should always notice these kinds of things in
our walk with God and realize, He is teaching us something for this moment in
our lives.
I
hate and I mean hate to feel like someone is feeling sorry for me. To me it is
the worst feeling because it makes me feel weak and pitiful. I have no desire
to tell people all my problems or to have a "Woeamony" but sometimes in our lives
we need to feel free to share our pain. I have been in the greatest season of loss
in my life. I have lost everything in my life at least once and somethings twice.
Loss leaves you raw and open and vulnerable. People are mostly kind but then
some are not. Or they are kind for a season and then they do not know what to
do with you. You do not even know what to do with you…
There
is a purpose for the pain. I heard a message recently that it is the pain that
prepares you for the calling. It is in the pain that the anointing comes into
your life. The pain keeps you humble. The pain teaches you what gain cannot
teach you. We need the pain to ground us and to teach us to cry out to God in
our despair. I will never be the same person from this season of loss in my
life. I know it is teaching me how to love others when they reach this season
in their own lives. This season has taught me to re-evaluate everything in my
life. Who am I?
I
would have to say that in this season, I have had an identity crisis. Losing everything
you hold dear, your parents, your job, your cars, your finances, and seemingly
your identity teaches you to cry out to God. I am not those things of course
but in a lot of ways they define us. Society teaches us that we are these
things: relationships, careers, what we drive and how much money we have in the
bank. But God! He has a new identity for our lives. We are not defined by this
world. If no one loves you, if you have no job, car or money, God is still the
one who defines us.
A
dear friend came and ministered at the church recently, she said we are the
King’s daughter, and we can come boldly into His throne room and ask for what
we need because we are His child. We are royal blood; we have been bought with
a price and we are of value to the King of Kings. So, who you are is not
defined by any one’s perception of who you are, for you are His!
In
understanding that you belong to the King it is not a bad thing to want to
become who God has called you to become. Deep calls to deep. What does that
mean? It means God is calling us to a deeper walk of prayer. There is a price
to be paid for walking at this new level. Many will not go with you. Most will
not understand you. Some will seek to hurt you and tear you down. But God! He
has a plan, and we must trust Him in this plan. Do you want that anointing? Or do
you want to stay in the same place? There is a price to pay. Prayer and a
consecrated life will cost you everything.
Let
us get back to the B attitudes. What does it mean to be meek? Matthew 5:5 To be
meek is to have a humble and submissive spirit before God. It is one who has a teachable
spirit. To be humble is knowing that everything you have is because God did it
in your life. You know it is not you. It is not your talents or your abilities,
but it is God working through you for His glory. Submission is following the
lead of a man of God in our lives a pastor who leads us according to the Word
of God. We must be submitted to have any authority in the Spirit in our walk with
God. We cannot do it alone. We are not the lone ranger, although that is
exactly what the enemy tries to make us feel is alone. We are not alone, and we
must trust those God has placed in leadership over our lives.
In
realizing all these things, it is not a bad thing to want to step into the deep
to become who God has called you to become. It is not a bad thing to dream
again! Maybe you have pushed down your dreams and callings, because you thought
you could not attain it, or maybe you have felt inadequate. Possibly you have let
yourself become a people pleaser, (which is really a disease) and you have allowed
your worth to be in pleasing them. It is possible you may have lost yourself somewhere
along the way. Seeking the approval of others to define you, will cripple you. We
can be humble, meek, and submissive and still have our own identity in Christ.
Your calling and my calling are not dependent on someone else seeing your
worth.
God
equips those He calls. He opens all the doors, and He shuts doors too. Every
open door means, another door must close. So, turn around behind you and shut the
door, so you will not walk backwards. You are meant to keep moving forward, just
as a river keeps flowing forward so must you. Walk with assurance (the word God
gave me for 2021) and know that you are His child, your calling is your own,
you are worth more than you can imagine, and the cost of anointing will cost
you. Do not allow your programming to let you believe you cannot be who God has
called you to become. Allow God to wash over you if you are in a season of
loss. Know that you can and will become all that He has called you to, if you
will keep seeking Him first in all you do.
Let
God have your weaknesses. Trust Him with your failures. Give Him your life and
let Him make you over for His glory. Seek no honor. Serve with your whole heart.
Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Trust Him in the process. Know
you are royal blood. Keep your head up. Be willing to learn from criticism. Hold
fast to your promises. He will never leave or forsake you. Be encouraged. Opposition
breeds godly character. God can handle all your sorrow. And for the record, You are not alone! Do the work that it takes to become whole or to become whole again! (Spend time in prayer, fasting, the Word, self-evaluation)
Who am I? I am His!
